The kids are all right...and dad...we'll see

I thought that movie title was a good one for today's blog, because my kids are doing all right.

Dawson started first grade this year at a Greek charter school.  His first day he told the family he loves it.  The next day he told us he hated it.  Upon further exploration, it was deteremined (by him) that he didn't hate it, but it did take too long.  When my father asked him how long school should take, he said, "One second."  Pop (a.k.a. my father) then tried to help him realize getting a job with only a few seconds worth of education probably won't work.  He promptly informed my father that he was going to live with the animals, skin some of them for food, and eat others in order to survive.  I couldn't make this up if I had to, but the befuddled look on my father's face was priceless.  So that makes the score now Dawson 1 and Pop 0.  I have a feeling Dawson will be cursing me out in Greek pretty soon.  I plan to laugh.  His biggest accomplishment this summer was learning how to boogie board.  Next stop is learning how to ride a bike without training wheels.  A.I. Dupont Hospital for Children here we come!  I hope they have a frequent flyer program.

David is in fourth grade and starting in a new school.  He's still in the gifted program, and is glad to see a lot of his friends.  He's not too excited about the homework though.  Today, he reminded me that I promised to enroll him in karate.  What was I thinking?  I already go at 900 m.p.h., now I've gotta fight a soon-to-be Ninja?  Guess I better get ready.  He's also turned into a ladies man (somebody just needs to let him know that).  I like to think he's a chip off the old block.  He met a girl at camp this summer.  She informed my sister-in-law that she thought he was "the cutest thing."  Then I saw her picture.  I was proud.  Then I heard she was 13.  I passed out.  Guess I have a "birds and the bees" talk in my near future.  Maybe I should tape the whole thing in case I need a laugh later on.  David also learned to surf with me.  We both "bit it" quite hard, but riding a few waves was worth every minute of being bounced off the ocean floor. 

As for me I'm pretty much plugging along, until recently.  I found out a dear friend from college and the father of one of my co-workers both have cancer.  I HATE THAT @#$% DISEASE.  I'm in the Relay for Life this year with several of my co-workers.  We'll be walking.  Right now, I'm so pissed at that disease I might just walk all night.  I might just drag the boys with me.  We'll see. 

Today was rough, but I made it through with my sanity in tact.  Thank you all for your prayers, notes, and support.

Hope you all stay safe and stay blessed.

Running at 900 MPH

I can't believe I haven't posted since last August. Sorry folks!

Anyway, I'm still alive and working in the Fraud Department at Bank of America. We had a better winter this year, because we've had a lot fewer trips to the doctor. Thank God.

This past weekend was awesome. I turned 40 (that was not awesome), but the surprise party sure was! Some long time friends of mine conspired behind my back (you know who you are and I'm going to cake you at your next birthday), and threw me a surprise birthday party. There were lots of people and lots of food. Two of my favorite things in the world. Thank God for great friends. I hope he blesses them big time for their kindness to me.

Hope you all are doing well. Keep looking up.

It's been a while...

It's been a while since I put up a post. Sorry. Since my last post, I graduated, gave my graduation speech (which was absolutely terrifying), and have been working so much some people have started accusing me of being a workaholic. I respectfully disagree. I'm just trying to tread water.

On a more positive note, the boys and I are enjoying a wonderful summer. David is at camp and loving it. Dawson spent a week away from Daddy all by himself with his grandparents in Arkansas. He loved every minute of it. I wasn't sure he was going to come home, but he decided that Daddy shouldn't have more than 1 week without his supervision. He's probably right. David comes home this coming week. I can't wait.

I took off this coming Monday. I need a mental health day.

Hope you all are enjoying your summer, and I hope to start posting more often. Take care, God bless, and thank you for your prayers.

A Bad Country Music Song

I feel like my life has become a bad country western song. Don't get me wrong, I love country music. It's one of the genres I listen to most. But think back to when you were a kid and heard a really bad one. One that goes something like the dog died, my wife left, the farm foreclosed, (and think of someone who can't sing that is singing it) etc. - you get the picture. Three weeks ago, I came down with a sinus infection. I am still coughing from that one. Two weeks ago, Dawson caught a sinus infection, and the heater broke. This past weekend, David was outside playing with a friend and rolled his ankle. We went to the local medical clinic and they took an X-ray. Sure enough, he broke it, and right near the growth plate. The doctor said everything should heal well, but since it's near his growth plate we need to keep an eye on it as it might prevent that part of him from growing. The doctor assures me it is a small chance that will happen. All I could think of was, "Have you met my family?" Later, my pastor called to see how David was doing. He asked, "Would it be all right if I prayed that your family would have a dull 2011?" To which I practically screamed YES!

Thank God for good doctors and good health insurance. I wonder if the medical community has a frequen flyer program?

Tyler Perry was right. "I can do bad all by myself!"

Well this past week hasn't been pretty. The boys got sick for a few days, and I stayed home to care for them. They definitely watched way to much TV and played way to many video games. I'm pretty sure we missed a teeth brushing once or twice, and we definitely had at least one day where they didn't get out of their pajamas or as I prefer to call it: "pajama day." (I think that sounds better don't you?) Any way, big thanks to my in-laws and parents for helping and thank you to all of you for your prayers and support. Friday marked the last day we received meals from our church friends and our neighbors. They have really come in handy and have been a tremendous blessing. However, you know what this means. Daddy gets to cook, or as my children prefer to call it, "Run for your lives. Daddy's setting stuff on fire again!" Today was my first attempt. David asked for waffles. My response was to give birth to a cow. When I recovered, I forced myself into the kitchen. I went through three boxes of Bisquick, and I'm not sure how much milk and eggs. It wasn't pretty, but I managed to create 6 waffles. For those of you who read this and are my neighbors, pay no attention to the fleet of fire trucks that are sure to come to our house this coming week. For the rest of you, if I don't update this blog in a few weeks it's because I burned down the house trying to make toast. Until next time, stay safe and God bless.

I miss Mommy

What does a father say when his little boy is crying in bed and says, "I miss Mommy. I miss it when she used to sing songs and scratch my back." I wish I could bring her back, but I can't. I wish she were there scratching Dawson's back and singing to him, but she's not; and she never will be again. That is quite a hard thing for this father to handle. Right now I'm swallowing harder than I ever have before. But I did sing (badly I might add) and scratched his back. Fortunately, he smiled and rolled over just like he used to do for her. David said, "Dad, do you want me to talk to him?" He's such a good big brother, but I fear he's trying to be a bit too brave.

This week seems like our long crawl back into reality. It stings quite a bit. Yesterday, I visited a friend in the hospital (oh how I hate that place). I went because I love him and his wife, but the sound of those machines practically made me jump out of my skin. Tomorrow, we go on the walk in Wilmington to raise money to fight cancer. It's going to be gut wrenching, because Barbara won't be there. However, I look at it as an opportunity to raise money so we can hopefully one day find a stake to drive into the heart of that aweful disease. I hope I'm there when that happens, because I'm going to twist that stake over and over again.

The boys have started acting out. When I ask them why, they say I don't know, and while they might not, I do. I realize you can't blame everything on them losing their mother, but it is a factor. Some of it has to do with me too. I'm not there enough and it shows in their behavior. Often, it feels like a daily struggle. Should I just quit school and spend every second with them? On the other hand, Barbara and I (mainly Barbara) sacrificed so much so that I could finish. How would that honor her? I feel like I'm in a race against time.

While I go through all this, it so nice to have a Savior to hold your hand. Thank God He knows the way. He gets me through it mostly by little graces - a hug from a friend, a meal, a slap on the back, a friend who looks at me and genuinely asks, "How are you?" It's times like these I whisper a quiet prayer and say, "Thank you so much, Lord." I don't know what I would do with out Him and the people He sends my way.

Surviving

Since Barbara's death, some folks have asked me to keep the blog alive by keeping regular correspondence. Other people want me to publish her work. For now, I'm just going to try to survive. I can barely handle grieving, work, parenting, and grad school. Trying to find a publisher at this point would probably put me over the edge. While Barbara was a prolific author, my plan is to make an occasional post. First, let me start off by saying thank you. Thank you to all of you for your cards, your financial support (I was totally surprised by that one.), your flowers, your delicious meals, your thoughts, your prayers, your visits, your hugs. That list could go on and on. It's really been wonderful. You have all been wonderful to me and my family, and I really appreciate it. I would also like to thank Barbara for doing her best to prepare her husband for single parenting. She was one amazing woman. Finally, and most importantly, I would like to thank Jesus Christ for His amazing grace - most of which shows up in the form of you her readers. Thus far, the boys and I are learning to take things day by day (and sometimes minute by minute). We've had a few ups (i.e. receiving your encouragement) and a few downs (David has gotten sick twice once with some stomach thing and now a nasty cough. Dawson seems to be picking up his own cough now.) At any rate, Barbara soldiered on through thick and thin, and so will I, even if it means I burn the house down trying to cook my first meal. May God bless us all.