Whew!

We went to San Antonio, Texas last week to attend my younger brother, Frank's wedding. We had a great, relaxing trip. It was the boys' first wedding and they did pretty good.

They are breaking cascarones at the end of the night.

We got home from the airport around 1 a.m. Friday night and then attended another wedding Saturday afternoon. The boys came with us to the ceremony because the bride is a friend to our whole family. She lives in our neighborhood and whenever we took walks around the neighborhood, the boys always wanted to stop by her house. She would then chase them around the yard.

I started not feeling too hot on Friday. I have been coughing for a month or so now but Friday seemed to be worse. Today, I just felt bad - not any one particular thing but everything was uncomfortable. I start chemo on Thursday and hope it will make this uncomfortable feeling go away (but the chemo does come with its own set of problems.)

Puddle jumpin'

We had some serious rain yesterday and our street usually floods when this happens. We went out during this and when we returned, the street was back to normal but our sidewalk remains a large puddle for awhile. The boys discovered the puddle, turned around and looked at me and I said, " Go ahead." I don't think my neighbors were as happy with me because all of their kids wanted to do the same thing.

This is moments before the other kids joined us . . .

Eventually, there were 10 kids in the middle of this mess . . . but, they had fun!

Feeling Better

It has been a couple of days since we found out the plan for the MRIs and the chemo and I finally feel like I can breathe again. Even though everything wasn't great news, there is now a plan in place and everything is scheduled. We can move on with our lives. I even exercised yesterday and today and have started really feeling more like myself.

I am enjoying this summer vacation, not the rain and cold weather, but no alarm clocks and no clock-watching in the afternoon for the bus stop. The boys and I haven't hurried much.

No change

I had my MRI yesterday and the doctor called today to say the tumors were stable. Meaning - no change. This was not what I wanted to hear but the doctor was pleased that they hadn't grown either. He spoke with the specialist and the plan is to do another follow up scan in 2 months. That sounded like a long time to wait to me but there are 3 doctors who agree on this plan. If I begin having any symptoms again, the plan changes.

This isn't good or bad news. But, I sure could have used better news than this.

Life goes on

It is with a heavy heart that I say, "The cancer is back." The CT scan showed an increase in size of some lymphnodes and nodules on my lungs. The positive part is that it returned in the same locations and there were not dramatic changes in size. SOOOO, I am scheduled to begin chemo in 3 weeks. Ugh.

Now we wait to find out about my brain. But before that, I have 2 little boys who are very excited that we are about to fill water balloons. I might get wet.

The boys and I have just returned from a trip to NC. We visited family and also had a "Day Out with Thomas (the train)." We just walked in about an hour ago after 9 hours in the car so the photos will have to wait.

I see my doctor tomorrow to find out the results of the CT scan and then I have an MRI of the brain scheduled for Monday. I guess my vacation is over.

3-day walk - continued

Well, I think I figured out what is holding me back from registering - and there is an even a term for it. I went to my support group this week and talked about it and the group facilitator called it "apprehensive grief." I am leaving for an hour for a CT scan of my torso to see if the cancer continues to stay away. In another 10 days or so, I have another MRI of my brain. I believe I am just apprehensive to make any plans beyond these 2 tests. I know in my head that I could do this walk on treatment, but just can't think beyond these test results.

I can not express the sadness and fear I feel before going into these tests. It overwhelms me as the test approaches. I hate living my life from one scan to the next, knowing that the report will determine my fate for the next however long.

Please pray that within the next couple weeks, I will get the news that there is no cancer and to enjoy my summer.

The 3-day walk

I am sure you have seen a few commercials for the 3-day walk by now. I certainly have received several phone calls, emails, etc reminding me to sign up. I just don't know. I remember the amount of time it took to train and that was time spent away from my family. On the other hand, every time Dawson sees a pink ribbon, he talks about me walking. When I see the commercials, I get emotional just recalling the experience. But, it does take lots of time and effort to raise the money. I know Dave would not be walking this year. Because of his school schedule, he wouldn't be able to commit to the training. I don't even know if I can do the training!!

Today, I got an email about signing up and it had a video attached where the group was singing, "The Greatest American Hero" after the first day of walking. That was in San Diego, but we did it too. It brought back all of the memories of the walk (good - like finishing it! and bad - like the sleeping arrangements.) Not sure what I am waiting for.