Monday, April 26, 2010

Bye Bye Decadron

I took my last Decadron today. The children thought it was a little strange that I was talking to my pill this morning, saying "I hope I never have to put you in my body again!" I told them it helps the inside of my body but it also makes me angry. The only thing I will miss about those pills is the boost of energy I got. I will not miss the sleepless nights or all of the other side effects. I have a scan scheduled in a few weeks to see the tumors' responses to the Cyberknife.

This is my week off from chemo and we are preparing for our community yard sale this weekend. We have been gradually going through the house, collecting items and have quite a bit to sell. The boys are also cleaning out toys that they want to sell for some cash. Praying for good weather!

Thursday, April 22, 2010

A break is coming

Today, I finished Round 4 of this chemo and my doctor told me that after 6, we will do a scan and he will give me a break. I told him I thought I couldn't take a break because everything goes haywire when I do. He said he has to so my body can recover or I will become too weak. He said it might not be a long break but my body will need it. So, my last chemo is scheduled for June 3 and I am hoping to have some time with the boys during the summer without chemo. The idea of some time with them just being mom sounds so wonderful!

Friday, April 16, 2010

I feel good

I took the opportunity today to read through some old posts from December through February. Those few months of my life are such a blur because I was in and out of the hospital so much and desperately trying to breathe. I hear stories and I keep asking, "Where was I?"

Today, I walk up and down our stairs with much more ease. The strength in my legs is really coming back and I am feeling pretty okay. The tapering of the steroids is going okay and I should be off of them within the next 10 days or so. I had chemo yesterday and was able to rest well today. It always feels good to feel good.

Tuesday, April 13, 2010


Listening to the coaches

Dawson went to his first practice last night and it took awhile to warm up to the idea, but he did start participating. We didn't like the scrimmage when we couldn't get our foot on the ball. But, he'll get there.

Our family is praising God today for many rich blessings. We just had a lot of good news and good things happen today.

Saturday, April 10, 2010


I have an appointment with the specialist in a couple weeks and then will have an MRI done in about one month to see the progress. As long as there are no headaches or indications of swelling around the brain, I can start my taper down off the steroids next week.

I felt well enough to watch David's first baseball game. I did rest a little more today, but was able to also do fun stuff around those times. My boy really played well today. I was so happy to be able to see it.

Friday, April 9, 2010


I finished the treatments today. I was told I should feel some extra fatigue this weekend but it should subside by the beginning of the week. We are praying for no headaches or vision problems because that means that I will not be able to start tapering my steroids next week and I can't wait to get off this stuff! Here are some photos and explanations of the Cyberknife.

Wednesday, April 7, 2010

Relatively painless

So, sleep did not come easily last night but it did come eventually. We arrived and were told it would take at least 1 to 1 and 1/2 hours but not certain of exact timing. I had to lay down with my fitted mask over my head and locked into the table to so my head movements are little to none. Please keep in mind I was fitted for the mask about 10 days ago and those steroids have been working their moon face action since then so it was a bit snugger today. I had a tv above me and the option of the radio. I chose the radio, hoping to maybe catch a few zzzss maybe. The nurses said I could take breaks and just to tell them when I needed them. About an hour into it, the back of my head really started becoming sore from just being pressed into a metal table for so long so I took my first break and explained my discomfort to the nurse. She says, " Oh, a lot of people complain about that. We have numbing spray." I'm thinking - Why didn't we try that in the first place??!! After a reapplication of the spray later, I had enough of this thing and asked how much longer. "10 more minutes" It had to be the longest 10 minutes of my life!! My back was so sore and they kept fussing me at me to stay as still as possible. I told her I thought it moved with me. She said it does but it has to stop and recalibrate and every time I move, this will take longer. Got it - 2 pain pills before we get started tomorrow! I lied down on the table at 9:15 a.m. and I looked at my watch when I was finally finished and it was 11:30! I couldn't believe how long it took. The nurses just kept saying, "You did really good." I am scheduled for tomorrow and Friday and then will be done. Once I got home, I rested for awhile but feel fine now. Now that I know what to expect tomorrow, I am ready for a good night's rest and to get this over with!

The verses I read and clinged to today were in Isaiah 40: 28-31: Do you not know? Have you not heard? The LORD is the everlasting God, the Creator of the ends of the earth. He will not grow tired or weary, and his understanding no one can fathom. He gives strength to the weary and increases the power of the weak. Even youths grow tired and weary, and young men stumble and fall; but those who hope in the LORD will renew their strength. They will soar on wings like eagles; they will run and not grow weary, they will walk and not be faint.

Thank you so much for your prayers and encouraging words.

Tuesday, April 6, 2010

We needed to turn this day around . . .

We took the boys to Bellevue State Park where they went fishing and played hard. I only got hooked once :). Had to finish it off with our first trip to Rita's for the season.

Zap em!

I received the call from Dr. Shah's office that the Cyberknife treatments will begin tomorrow at 9 a.m. I was so brave about this until that call came. Then, forget it. I am nervous and scared. It will only be 3 treatments, but I still have radiation being zapped at my head, near pretty important brain parts. All of the logistical parts of this are arranged - rides and childcare, etc., but my head is not ready. We have a family day planned today and was looking forward to the "escape." Unfortunately, our day also includes a viewing this evening for a friend from my support group and Dave had her caregiver in his group. The obits also listed a young 39 year old mom with 3 children who died from cancer. Ugh - some days, when it rains, it pours. But we are hoping to get out and enjoy this beautiful sunshine and let it wash our troubles away for awhile.

Saturday, April 3, 2010


My younger brother and his wife live in Austin, Texas and introduced us to this Mexican Easter tradition last year. When they visited us a few weeks ago, she brought the cascarones. With such a beautiful day and 7 boys, what better time to make a mess! We'll need to get some extra next year. My favorite part is that Dawson is so eager to clean it up.

Thursday, April 1, 2010

It seems like the earliest the Cyberknife will start is next Wednesday. The specialist who needs to approve my plan will not be back into the office until then. This was good news to me since the boys are on Spring Break now and it means more time with them before the treatments start. I am loving this sunshine! I am hoping to be able to really enjoy it by Saturday after recovering from today's chemo.