Well, I think I figured out what is holding me back from registering - and there is an even a term for it. I went to my support group this week and talked about it and the group facilitator called it "apprehensive grief." I am leaving for an hour for a CT scan of my torso to see if the cancer continues to stay away. In another 10 days or so, I have another MRI of my brain. I believe I am just apprehensive to make any plans beyond these 2 tests. I know in my head that I could do this walk on treatment, but just can't think beyond these test results.
I can not express the sadness and fear I feel before going into these tests. It overwhelms me as the test approaches. I hate living my life from one scan to the next, knowing that the report will determine my fate for the next however long.
Please pray that within the next couple weeks, I will get the news that there is no cancer and to enjoy my summer.
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
3 comments:
Praying as usual, Barb!
Definitly praying that you will have an uneventful summer spent at the pool with your two boys.
Praying for you continually, my friend. We will pray that you will be cancer free and can return to life as normal as possible. Miss you!
Post a Comment