Monday, October 29, 2007
I feel like I can stop holding my breath! I am also very tired and am looking forward to sleeping better. My 2 favorite words these days - cure and remission.
Today is Dawson's 2nd birthday - what a day to celebrate!
Saturday, October 27, 2007
Dave had a lot of schoolwork to do today so I try to keep all of us out of his hair. The boys also needed to get out of the house since we have had 4 straight days of rain. At one point this morning, Dawson was amusing himself by pulling tape off of the dispenser. I noticed this while a Frisbee thrown by David whizzed by my head - needless to say, we needed a change of scenery. Longwood Gardens opened a new Indoor Children's Garden this weekend. We were prepared to hike through the pouring rain to get to it, but the sun popped out as soon as we pulled up to the Garden. A fun time was had by all and yes, that is Dawson attempting to climb into the fountain.
Friday, October 26, 2007
Sunday, October 14, 2007
Friday, October 12, 2007
Thursday, October 11, 2007
Monday, October 8, 2007
"Make me, take me, break me, I am pierced
Though I am wounded and unworthy
Though I am selfish and untrue
You are holy, You're the healer
You forgave me and made me new
Oh, this love, how can it be
That my God would die for me
For my sins, His wounds did bleed
Jesus, you were pierced for me"
Well, I had my last chemo treatment. I had a list of questions for the doctor about what I can and can't do in the upcoming weeks. I have realized that I am now back to prodding and poking. I have lots of appointments scheduled with surgeons, plastic surgeons, and tests. Also, I am trying to squeeze in the everyday appointments too, like dentist appointments for the boys and for me, well visits for the boys, etc.
I felt more anxious today about my last chemo than any other treatment. You would think that I would be jumping for joy right? Just so much more on my mind. The oncologist is confident that the scans I have scheduled in a few weeks will show less cancer. I have also begun the process of preparing for surgery.
I felt like I was stepping into the ring this morning, ready to fight this beast, but that quickly turned into a whole lot of anxiety. When I walked David into school this morning, I spotted a friend and we began singing the "Rocky" theme music. That song was also played at our wedding reception when we were introduced. I have the song in my profile, if you would like to hear it.
One thing that helped today was that we talked to the oncologist about having a bilateral mastectomy, to remove the healthy breast as a preventive measure. He asked if we had made a decision and I told him I was leaning in that direction. I told him my reasons why and he told me that he could support that decision.
I now get to endure my chemo week, with some confidence that this is the last time I will have to go through this.
Friday, October 5, 2007
Lots of things have happened this week - from my Internet going down (an inconvenience) to receiving bad news about 2 friends' cancer status, along with some other things in between. I am also hesitant to be too excited about my last chemo treatment on Monday. I have some tests scheduled at the end of this month to see what the cancer looks like after chemo. I have heard a lot lately about people who thought the cancer was responding and then test results come back saying otherwise. I had a chat with God last night about my doubts and how I want my faith to believe that this cancer is gone or at least on the path of going away. He has brought me this far and looking back on the last 4 months, there have been some difficult moments, but overall, it hasn't been too bad. I know He will give me strength, no matter what the results are.