Monday, August 13, 2007

I'm done, thanks!

Yesterday, I had a bit of a breakdown about this cancer thing. Is it over yet? I'm just tired of feeling sick and tired. I did feel well enough to go to church last night but still have moments throughout the day when I don't feel well. It is better than it was last week. I just miss feeling like myself. Both my brain and body are not their usual selves. I was reading something recently that referred to "running the race." How can I run a race when I still have trouble getting through Target? It seems like the race is sooooo long! I have been thinking a lot about what I still have yet to do - 3 more rounds of chemo, surgery, radiation and then surgery again. I try not to think about it but it seems to consume my brain, especially when I am sick. I told Dave that "I can't do this anymore." Was it ever me doing it in the first place? I always had trouble understanding what grace meant. I am beginning to understand that grace is something you need to see with your heart. Thank God that He is strong enough to get me through this, because I am not.

2 comments:

Dee said...

Barbara,
You are so right! He is strong enough to get you through this!

God says: "My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness." 2 Cor 12:9

Also, remember Lam.3:22,23 "The steadfast love of the Lord never ceases; his mercies never come to an end; they are new every morning; great is your faithfulness."

Let His grace, mercy and strength, which are new every morning, get you through each day. You don't have to run the whole race now, just today's part.

You are an incredible example of beauty and grace!

In Christ,
Dee

Anonymous said...

Barb,
Remember the words of the 3rd verse of "Great is Thy Faithfulness" -

"Pardon for sin and a peace that endureth,
Thine own dear presence to cheer and to guide;
Strength for today and bright hope for tomorrow,
Blessings all mine, with ten thousand beside!"

Strength for today - He promises that to you!!!

You're a great manager and organizer - take that "big picture" of treatment and recovery and break it down into smaller segments. Take them on one at a time. We'll pray you through each one of them!

With love,
Vickie