I just returned from a brisk walk and it has done both my mind and body good. Dave took the boys with Pop to the Brandywine River Museum to look at the Christmas train exhibit.
I read an article in the newspaper today about happiness. Our sermon last Sunday also focused on what makes us happy. I started thinking about my own happiness. I can't say that I have felt happy a lot in the past 6 months, but I have definitely felt loved. Not only loved by friends and family but loved by God. I have realized that His love does not always look like "health and wealth", but those moments of grace in the midst of tragedy. We have seen blessings come from this - new relationships formed, financial burdens relieved and the opportunity to look at life in a different light. Grace today looks like this - I feel good today; I am able to think and process information today (this is a common struggle). I am even able to see a light at the end of this treatment. I am halfway through my hurdles and am able to think about our lives after cancer. Dream with me - 85 degrees outside, shorts and sandals (no more layers of clothing and outerwear to walk out of the house), long summer days - poolside. Sounds good, doesn't it? I am able to think about those summer days, cancer-free, which was not the case last summer.
I don't know what the future holds, but this is the first time since I heard "You have cancer" that I am able to envision life after this. But, if I knew what the future held, would I have been able to enjoy a day like today?
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5 comments:
Wow! God is doing an amazing work in your life. Thanks for sharing what He is teaching you. What you are learning is true for all of us. It is a challenge to live each day by grace; thanks for reminding me of the blessings of doing just that!
-Dee
Life is so precious! I can say that I find I look at it so much differently just walking with you through this battle. I can't say I would have handled it as gracefully as you have! I thank God for every drop of GRACE and LOVE He has mercifully poured on you.
Love you,
L J
Barbara, I haven't had a chance to speak to you at church, but I want you to know I've been praying for you and your husband and sons. My sister went through a situation similar to yours several years ago, and she has been cancer free now for over a decade, I believe. Since laughter is the best medicine, I hope you get a chance for comedy with your boys. You probably won't see him do it in person, but Noah furling his brow and growling, "I a bad guy!" does it for me. I remember with gratitude the kindness you and David showed to Noah and all of our family when we had a crisis. I pray that you will also have a blessed outcome from your trials.
Just reading your blog makes me feel like you should write a book. You are a great writer, and I love reading about the things that you are learning, although I wish it didn't have to be so hard. But then, I guess we wouldn't learn as much, if life weren't hard. Thank you for being so vulnerable and willing to share so deeply with us. I am privileged to call you my friend. Thanks for checking up on me in the midst of all the stuff going on in your life. It means so much!
XOXOXO
Robyn
I don't think you have any idea of how many people your courage, bravery and most of all your faith have touched. God has indeed used you as an instrument to demonstrate all these things and to show his grace in action. Through all your pain and suffering you have shown your abiding faith and all those who know you have benefited greatly.Thank you for reminding me of the many blessings God continues to provide for me and my family'
Shirley
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