Monday, September 22, 2008

I went to chemo on Thursday and got my shot on Friday. Saturday wasn't a bad day at all. And then Sunday came. I felt awful. I am on an antibiotic for my bronchial stuff but it is still lingering. By the end of Sunday's morning service, I was in tears. The physical obstacles were overwhelming. I hid in my room for the afternoon. Today is a little better. Dawson and I don't have to be anywhere today so I predict a lot of lounging and playing!

I have prayed for God to renew my spirit. I am feeling defeated and just sick and tired of doing this. We sang this Michael W. Smith song yesterday in church and I felt like I was crying out for His mercy. It is an incredible song.

7 comments:

Christie N. said...

Barb, I am so sorry to hear you're feeling so awful as well as heavy hearted. Thank you for sharing that M.W. Smith song with me today ~ it really spoke to my heart. I'll email one of his to you today as well: "Breathe In Me." It's an older one that I've put on repeat many a time and just cried through. It's one of those songs your heart prays with when you don't know what more to say. I'm holding you in prayer today.
Love,
Christie

Anonymous said...

Now I know why God placed you on my heart this weekend. He truly did. I mean, I regularly pray for you but I felt especially burdened to pray for you this weekend and have been doing so. May you know / feel His presence and as always, if there is anything specifically that I can do...
Love, Jill

Anonymous said...

I was thinking of you yesterday morning when our pastor played, "I will praise you in this storm" by Casting Crowns after his sermon and before our healing stations. You have been so strong through this storm, but this sermon in a series on the Psalms reminded me of how many times the psalmists even cried out from disorientation, only to become reorientated later. You are not alone; you are in a class with the psalmists right now! What good company to be in.
Bridget Lamancusa

laura said...

I am so sorry that this round is keeping you down. The song we heard in church today "Saviour He can move a mountain...He is might to save..." I so admire you Barb. Keep strong and walk!

Anonymous said...

I love Michael W. Smith. It may sound hokey, but the song on this year's VBS cd - "Lord you Never Let Go" really speaks to my heart. All I can say is you are loved by so many and I pray that God gives you the strength you need, both mentally and physically.

Much love, Susan

Robyn said...

Barb,

So sorry that Sunday was such a hard day. I didn't realize that you were sick with a cold/bronchial thing. I hope that the antibiotics are kicking in and that you are feeling better. I agree with you about that song. Like I said to you before, I can barely get through singing it, because it is such an emotional song. Know that you are loved by our family.

Love you,
Robyn

Anonymous said...

Barb Dave and boys,
I was online tonite trying to find your blog...and here it is! I've been meaning to find it for some time now, but Rachel and my Mom always give me updates. Barb, you are absolutely beautiful. After reading your blog, you are one of the strongest people I know. I know you are not feeling so well these days, but your drive really speaks wonders. So encouraging!
You are in Scott and my prayers. I hope you are feeling better. Tell Dave I said hello and those boys are getting so big!! 2 more suitors for Ava! :) Love, Becky (Nowasielski) Magdycz & Scott&Ava